I remember the day that I used to be living by conviction rather than by convenience. In those days, decisions were made by refere3nce to a set of values that I had already decided was to be followed and adhered to. If the decision to be made violated the principle, then the decision was easy, don't do it.
It was for both small and big decisions. Many of the decisions were made before I ever had to face the actual situation and this always allowed to me to make the best decision without having to stress out over it.
Take for example the fact that I have been single for the longest time. I have been so because of my decisions and the choices I have made. Each one of those decisions were made with the proper value based conviction as a foundation. I have never had to look back at any of those decisions and feel that I have regret over that decision.
Lately though, I have begun to become impatient with myself and with God. I came to a place that I was actually open to ANY possible relationship that came my way. I had considered turning a blind eye to some of the more 'restrictive' values that I had instituted in my life as guiding principles. One of them was the fact that she had to be Christian too. If I relaxed on just this one point, I would automatically widen my horizons by almost 10 times. That's just what I did. I was available to any available connection. I explored one a few steps deep and said to myself, "This is not too bad. I can settle for this."
Then I was reminded that my God is not a God who settled for less than the absolute very best. He gave Himself up, the absolute very best, so that I could be restored into a relationship with Him, the absolute very best. In this place of a new relationship, He has made it clear that He wants to give me His Spirit, the absolute very best, to come and live and dwell IN me, no less. He knew me before I was formed in amma's womb and has a plan to prosper me and to give me a future, the absolute very best. Who am I to short change myself from this that is mine by destiny!
Lord, I repent of this mindset of being willing to settle for less than the ABSOLUTE VERY BEST! Thank you that You want exactly that for me and will never, never, never ever settle for anything less!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
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